Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 8:59 PM

when you smile, everyone smiles with you. when you cry, you cry alone.

i finally see how true this phrase is. in fact, it's so true it's scary. i was practically alone today. i don't fancy may's friends very much; my friends had lessons; and sis has orientation. im supposed to have it too but i can't bring myself to. my ogl said it was ok anyway. however, my parents are blissfully unaware and are still under the impression that im attending orientation like the rest of the newcomers. BLAH. like that is ever going to happen.

im not saying my friends are unsupportive. its just that none of them truly know how i feel. and even if they do, there's nothing they can do. the pain of not fitting in anywhere: seeing my friends go to class but i can't follow; see the juniors having orientation but can't fit in. the pain is killing me. just now i just curled up in my bed and cried. in fact, im surprised i didnt start tearing in school. but i suppose it has reached the point where you're so sad that the tears can't come out anymore. sis seemed to have enjoyed her first day besides the first day jitters. by friday next week she'll be thoroughly in love with the school and i'll be a loner. she says:" just go for orientation la!" like i said, if she truly understood how i felt, she'll understand why i can't go. my friends were all like, "oh! we miss you!" and stuff like that. i really don't doubt their sincerity. in fact, im really touched. but i know they will eventually get used to it, and when the workload gets really heavy, they'll forget.

oh. my sis had her dream come true and got into the humanities programme. :) well, at least one of us is happy. im so proud of her.

so i spent my day mostly in the library reading. i was so bored i just picked up any random book. so i started reading this book called "The glass palace". kinda boring but i was lazy to change book. it was only then i realised how quiet the library was. maybe cos the school year just started and the nerds aren't in full force yet. haha. when i finally left it was only then i realised it had rained. i was totally oblivious man.

left school about 3+ cos sis only ended about 6. so i actually stopped by my old holland road condo cos i missed it and wondered how it was doing. so when i stepped off the bus, an njc girl did too. and lo and behold, it was yihui!!!!!!! :D love love love yi hui!! we were both so shocked! haha. so we went to my old place but the gate was locked and we couldn't enter! :( so we parted after i alighted from the bus that took me to tanglin mall. there i had a late lunch and starbucks coffee. was sitting at starbucks in my little corner and stared off into space. sigh. walked around somemore to kill time. finally left to take the bus back to school. sis was supposed to end at 6 but was delayed 20 mins! my mind nearly went mad from waiting.

its such a relief to be home. i wish i could just curl up and sleep, and not wake up anymore. yea sure, i was looking forward to drive this year. but i guess once you're dead, who cares about anything else then?

sorry yingx. i know you feel really confused and lost too. but please, let me be selfish during this period of time. just keep me updated and i'll give u advice when i feel better. im not in the mood to think of anything else now.