Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 7:55 PM

i was a naughty girl today. :P we're not supposed to leave school before 1pm no matter what time we finish school. but my friends and i snuck out to coronation plaza at 11am cos we had a 1.5 hour break before our next lecture. when we reached coro, my friend said that sometimes the public will take pictures of us with their handphone and send it to the school. so we were like damn scared, at least I was. then on our way back, we met another group of people who had snuck out like us. and they were super nice, asking us if we were going back to school, and said that some teacher was standing at the gate catching people like us who snuck out, so we better take the bus back and enter by another gate. omg i was sooooooooo scared!!!! luckily we got back without meeting any authority. thank god for those nice people, or i'd probably get demerit points or detention. never again man.............but it was actually kind of a mini adventure. :P

was supposed to meet hs and kenny today but they wanted to go back to their choir instead. well, if they wanna bail on me like that, i'm not complaining. at least i save money. :) and if they ask me out again, they're gona have to wait a long while man. i'm one person with busy schedules. i'm not exactly dying to meet them anyway.

for maths makeup lesson today..............heeehee...................:P:P:P i had a pretty cute maths teacher. HAHA!!! not exactly drop dead gorgeous, but he's muscular. i could tell by his forearms, can see some muscles bulging there. bet he wroks out often at the gym. and i suppose male teachers aren't supposed to wear sleeveless shirts, but i bet he's got some nice biceps under those sleeves. and he smelled good too!! he came to help my friend beside me, and i smelled his perfume/cologne. niceee..............LOL!! if only he was taller and had slightly better complexion, whoa, all the girls will have a crush on him man. :P but then again, he's a teacher............a bloody teacher............man. that's such a put off. haha!!

i'm so sleepy. yes i am. today's not a long post but too bad. my life isn't a soap opera. bye folks.


at 8:04 PM

i found out that ac lost the water polo match. sigh, so sad!! council elections are coming up soon and all the candidates are like trying frantically to promote themselves and gain votes. this group gave out roses to the girls in my faculty. they even wrote our names on a tag attached to it! then the guy personally gave the roses to all of us one at a time. omg, i'm sooooo voting for them. i tell you, whoever gives me flowers wins my heart. :P i'm a sucker for flowers; i find them so romantic!! so if you want my vote, give me more flowers!! LOL!!!

i think i can drop chinese lit!! yay!! the compo i did yesterday for my teacher really showed my that my standard wasn't up to par. well duh, didn't i know that already. the only bad thing about dropping chinese lit is that i have to go back to H1 chinese, which i must take at the end of this year. sobs!! and that means i have to stay in school for longer hours for lessons!! nooo..........and it's with people i don't really like, especially this person *. i really really don't like * man. everytime i'm nice and try and ask * something, i'm always treated to a black face. what the hell la. i didn't do anything to piss you off k. i think you've got one hell of an attitude problem. you're not even good enough for hc la. seesh. this kind of people is the reason why the we have to take moral education. seesh. but chinese lit..............aiya, really cannot man. i'll fail my alevels if i continue.

meeting hs and kenny tmr for that long overdue lunch. i promised them i'd treat them if i got into hc. and well, yea, i did. you know what, i really didn't need to choose chinese lit to get into hc after all. there's this girl in my class who had 7 points too. no higher chinese, so she appealed and still got in!! i would have gotten in too, cos of my results and cca record. wth!!! all this chinese lit crap for nothing!! oh my tian i'm damn pissed. or i would have just been posted back to ac and none of this would have happended. i'm cursed i tell you. it's all that stupid chinese lit's fault. ugh, gross man.

i'm dead beat. had lessons until 6pm today. makeup bio lecture. yucks. bio is one of the worst subjects ever invented. and it's hell lot to rmb also. how julie copes with H3 bio is really beyond me. but then again, she's a genuis. so oh well.












-the opportunity cost of leaving ac for hc is damn high.........................


at 5:59 PM

Singapore poly called me. the guy who spoke to me, mr ng was really nice. he didn't like, promote sp and say i should go and all, but he just asked me to consider what i want in life carefully. it's just that if i go to poly, i won't have the chance to do medicine anymore. and well, yea, it is 3 years. so i'm still considering. MOE also called me and asked if i was sure i wanted to pass up the CLEP scholarship. dude, yes i'm sure. i don't even want to take the stupid subject anymore. the more i go for lessons, the more i hate it. God!! but it's still nice of them to call and ask. that's the plus point about scoring well: ure in DEMAND. LOL!! but in my case, i wish i didn't do so well, so i would have just stuck to ac and be happy little me. now i got so much headache. sigh........

yingxy!! we got your package already!! omg i love the shirt!!!!!! it's so pretty!! thx girl, i love you! my sis loves the monkey socks, and the hot chick one. :P she couldn't make out the word 'soulmate' though. she was making funny sounds and distorting the whole thing. haha. and thanks for going to Garage for me. i know you ABSOLUTELY ADORE GARAGE!!! XDXDXD next time i go over, i'm dragging you in again. hey, i need a hanger right? :P joking joking..........

looks like abraxon reunion is off for good. so many people can't make it. it's like they don't care about abraxon anymore. they've all moved on, with their own things to do. i think i'll move on too. i'm never taking the initiave to organise the outing again. if they want, they go organise, then call me. hmph.

met up briefly with lou at coro. that girl has no patience at all. she wasn't even willing to wait in line for bubble tea!! don't faint yingx. yea, so i was nagging at her the whole time. she also told me her mum wants to get a dog. samuel told her to get a pug. LOL. i told her to get a pug, so when she looks at it, it'll boost her self confidence. HAHA!! that girl is so nice to tease.

i'm tired, i'm sleepy. but i still have chem tution. nooooooo..............!!!! i think i'll just knock out halfway. jc saps the life out of you.












-I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!


at 10:22 PM

the more i go for chinese lit, the more i hate it. i also think my teacher is making it diffcult for me to drop the subject. on purpose. fancy making me write a timed essay and all. damn it la.

hc is damn stressful. i really regret going there. it's like that place lives for tests. crazy man. really crazy. i'm really gona turn into a mugger. being a 2nd intaker sucks, but it sucks worst being a 2nd intaker to hc or rj i think. cos they're the top and all and they want you to catch up asap, blah blah. really man. chill!!! we're only 17!! they should take a leaf out of ac's book. i already feel so suffocated with homework i'm gona explode. my poor poor brain.

at least now we're getting a move on abraxon gathering. sukhveen has been a great help but sarah just can't seem to make it all the time!! it's always her! sarah!! why u like that?! argh! cross fingers that most abraxon ppl can make it. trying for an 'original' 1SC5 gathering with jeanette too. boy i miss my ac ppl. i feel so lonely in hc. so so lonely. hc people are BORING. make me wanna puke blood man. someone please tell them there is more to life than tests. and running for council. duno what the big deal is about council man. if you ask me, it's just like another popularity contest. yuck. at this rate, i really don't know how to enjoy my 2 years there. then again, thank god it's only 2 years. i just gota survive this year and the next will fly damn fast. and i'll have sis with me by then. GOD PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH. let me survive 2007.

hwa chong lost the arena to united world college. whooooo!!!!~~~ suckers. i know i shouldn't condemn my school like this, but........ugh!! that's why i need the password. and being a hwachongian grosses me out, so you see i have removed it from my profile. i think ACSian sounds so much better. i absolutely refuse to sing the school song. but then again, i don't know how, neither do i bother to find out. its gross anyway. i just wanna complete my 2 years and get out. oh god.........i really wish i could have a better jc life. it hurts more to know that i gave that up the moment i left ac.










-drowned in homework: mugger in the making.......................


at 10:34 PM

120th post today!! whoo!!~~ ok err........no big deal actually. i wanted to celebrate on the 100th post but i forgot. :P so i had to wait for the next ten to come along.

i had the best day in hc so far today. i got most of my notes photocopied, went to coro for lunch with felicia and liu yang. finally i got some friends. but i'm not banking 100% on them though. don't wanna be disappointed. i've been trying so hard to get organise an og outing. but it seems like it never goes through. i'm trying again for this friday, but sukhveen can't stay out too late, alistair has tution which he's not willing to change/pon whatever!! and kern isn't replying me!!! damn it la. then i ask myself. am i the only one really missing this og? i don't think they miss me. i think they've all got on with their lives already, except stupid me. why on earth do i bother to miss them, to organise a gathering, if they aren't really interested? ok, maybe that's not the right thing to say, but i don't feel their same enthusiasm. mum has been right all along. i really should try to get used to hc, bcos i'm just wasting my time loving a school/friends who don't love me back. i feel so stupid. that's it. if they don't come back to me with an answer soon about this fri, i'm never taking the initiative to organise something like this again. unless they call and organise instead. but you know what? i don't think they will.

yingx called to wish sis happy birthday. talked to her too. i miss her so much i feel as though i'm dying inside. she's been there 4 months already=16 weekends. we have never gone so long without seeing each other. not even during exam periods!! oh man.............this is so hard for me. I WANT YINGXY!!!

saw * today again. in the canteen early in the morning. we were sitting a few tables apart but facing each other. i wonder if he noticed me. but big deal. even if he did, he won't recognise me anyway. but that doesn't mean i didn't take advantage of this 'view'!! lol. he still looks the same to me............even after so long. sigh. i miss him.........

ACJC Vs HCI water polo match today. GO AC!!!!!! AC WARRIOR!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ hmm.........i wonder who won. maybe they'll announce tmr. *fingers crossed*








-one-sided love..........


at 7:19 PM

i dread going to school. the idea of walking through the gates and enduring a full day of lectures gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. i feel so vulnerable there. everytime i leave i sigh in relief. i can't believe i would ever feel like this in hc. i always thought it was my dream school, my dream since primary school. so why don't i feel happy when i got what i finally wanted after working so hard? lou is says hc is the best thing that ever happened to me. but is it true? i don't think so. right now, it feels like a curse. i don't know what i did to deserve what i'm feeling right now. the thing to remember is about a storm is that it will pass. but what is the point of putting a storm in front of me anyway?! i feel cursed.

gona talk to my chinese teacher tmr. hope all goes well. i'm just so emotionally exhausted that it's affecting my studies. i don't have the mood to study, and everyone knows you can't do last minute work for a levels. so technically, i've got to start working hard now. but how can i when i have no heart to do it? i find it such a chore. i dread every single lesson. everyday i go home from school and i'm none the wiser. i feel so stupid and helpless. shit. i think i need my counsellor again. haosheng called today to talk, and even he noticed how dead and depressed i sounded. he said he'll call again to see how i'm doing. :) so touched man.

everytime i see the acjc uniform i'll feel damn sad. COS I WANNA WEAR IT TOO!!! was blog surfing and stumbled across lynette's blog and saw some of her photos. i saw nicole, carol, dawn, cheryl and god knows who else in ac uniform. omg i was damn depressed. i could feel that awful, achy pain in my heart. i wanna go back to ac. i really do. i know i should let it go already cos it's impossible, but it's just so hard. i wanna tell my friends i miss them. but i wonder how on earth i can phrase it without giving the guys any wrong ideas. i see them on msn all the time, but it's a bit retarded to just go, "hey. i miss you." lol. dude, even i'll be weirded out man.

school tmr. oh my god................sometimes i just wish i can go to sleep and never wake up again........









-my guardian angel has forsaken me.....................


at 9:55 PM

today was better, thank god. considering what i went through yesterday, it can't get much worse can it? started off a bad morning though. my water bottle leaked. so the bottom of my bag was freaking wet, and my folscap paper!! sigh.........had intro to project work. i'm really not psyched about it man. jc life sucks. the worst of all.

had my first session of counselling today. it was good. :) met with the counsellor and we went to those counsellling rooms, where you got those nice chairs and stuff. then before we started she said that everything said would be kept confidential, and she asked me to sit in the chair with my back facing the door, so anyone who walks past, though i doubt anyone will, will not be able to see my face. i was immediately struck with the thought, like in all those documentaries, those instances where people wanted to keep their identities a secret so they only showed their back or darkened their face or something like that. so yea, me being the crybaby definately did alot of crying. that's why the counselling room always has tissues, for people like me. :P it definately helped. i felt alot better after that. praise the person who trained all these counsellors. :) but unfortunately, all my problems aren't solved yet. i duno if i should drop bio, though it's a very appealing thought, and chinese lit. sigh. before i went for counselling, i happened to meet some chinese teacher in charge of chinese lit, and she told me i was the only one who didn't do higher chinese blah blah, so i will be quite behind. and if i don't do well, i'm wasting my 2 years, and i should think if i wana do it for the sake of remaining in hc. dude, u think i don't know that?! whoa lao..............felt even more stressed then. so what now? i gota leave the school? whoop de doo. ouch........headache headache...........turns out my counsellor is jing yi's math tutor!! aunty sally's good friend!! my my.......isn't it a small world...........

met zhuchuan after school. finally!! we've been talking about meeting up for ages. i was supposed to meet him during my break too but counselling took longer than i expected, so i had him waiting for nothing! omg i felt sooooooooo bad!!! was apologising like crazy. then after school, he still had to wait cos i had to rush and finish my bio prac. -_-"' that's why i wanna drop bio. hate bio pracs. when we finally left the school it was almost 4.30pm, and i had tution at 5.30pm at coronation plaza. turns out he brought me to a cafe right next to the centre. LOL! he paid for my food as a birthday present. man i felt so bad. after all, i did make him wait a long time. then he ordered a sausage for himself. when it came, it was just well, ONE big sausage. then he was rather confused cos he thought the menu said "sausageS" plural. so he went back to CHECK. omg i was trying so hard not to laugh. then he came back and said, "it's correct. it read sausage. singular." omg..............i thought i'd die of laughter. we caught up with old times, talked about how much our 6I people had changed in 4 years. mind you, it's a hell lot of change. scary you know. my impression of all of them never changed from pri 6, and now they all zhang da le. so nostalgic!! *sniff sniff* sorry...........motherly instincts kicking in. :P

can't believe i survived 5 days in hc. APPLAUSE PEOPLE!! WHOOOOO!!!!~~~ now my only wish is to sort out my combis once and for all. then i can start on school work proper. oh god...........jc life is gona kill me........i wish i could be like yingx. you're fitting in so well there dear. and i know it's harder cos you're new to the place. so why can't i? so unfair. oh btw yingx, your mum is taking me to the gym tmr. funny........











-give me strength to carry on..................


at 8:34 PM

i actually wanted to come home today and spout all the f words here. i think it's so ironic that people say "happy birthday" when today is one of the worst days of my life. ok yes folks, i'm 17 today. i'm sure in ac i'll be super happy, celebrating with og and classmates, but in hc, it's just another day. in fact, it's my worst day in the week so far. started off with all my wonderful friends and their birthday messages, then it just went downhill from there.

had no one to hang out with the whole day. during pe, i had to wait for everyone to pick a group before i had one. but hc pe is super slack. it's the only slack thing we have. cos academics is the killer. guess what we did, we ran 2 rounds for warm up. 2 rounds around the NETBALL COURT. LOL!! do you have any idea how small the freaking netball court is? whoa lao funny sia, but i'm not complaining!! :P then we did ball passes like those you do in pri sch and a lame game of netball. i felt weird cos i'm used to ac's ultra strict pe lessons. take attendance and all. now in hc, my pe teacher is NICE. doesn't shout at all. no physicals yet. that's the only plus point about hc.

sigh. so i'm officially the loner of my class. everyone has someone to hang out with. i honestly don't think my class are very helpful people. i mean, yea, they tell me stuff about the school and all, but as a whole..................they're not exactly warm. sigh. the world needs more ISFJs. felt so lost in all my lectures, and after maths lecture i went to see the math lecturer, who is also a counsellor. meeting her tmr for counselling. yes people, i'm going for counselling. never thought i would ever need to though. i always thought people who need counselling are weak and don't know how to manage their emotions. now i finally understand their pain. it really is painful you know. feels like your world is gona explode and you can't bring yourself to smile. i cry all the time in school, and i gota fight to keep tears from spilling over. i'm NOT crying in front of boys. turns out i gota take the olevel higher chinese exam. oh my god. for that fucking chinese lit. oh god it's crazy!! insane man, insane. FUCK CHINESE LIT LA. FUCK FUCK FUCK IT. don't care already. if god wants to give me a sucky day like this, i'm obliged to use the f word. my chi lit teacher told me and i was like black face and all, and he went, you don't look very happy. -_-"' dude, i've gota take a chinese exam. do you think i look happy?!!! siao man. chinese exam on top of all my personal troubles. wonderful. what a fab birthday present.

the last straw was when my period came during project work and i wasn't wearing a pad. oh god. i should have known. the cramps were so obvious. i was bleeding so much that the blood was dripping down my thigh onto my chair. AND THERE WERE BOYS BEHIND ME GOD DAMN IT!!! and it was when lesson ended and we had to STAND to thank the teacher. but thank god, hc uniform is water and fire proof, so the blood wasn't absorbed. just a tiny stain. so i made sure i ran out after school and cabbed home as fast as i could. wasted $4. damn it. if not for my stupid period, i'll only spend 45 cents. it's amazing how bad a day can become. i'm still rather shocked.

mum forgot my birthday. oh well, i'm not going to remind her if she forgets. i've got pride man. she only remembered when lou sent me flowers!!! omg my lou lou totally made my day. she surprised me by coming to my house at night and passing me flowers!!! roses!! i love you loulou. the best birthday present ever.

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me...........happy birthday to me.











-dying inside...........with no where to run and hide.


at 3:37 PM

as expected, hc's founders' day sucks like shit on a stick. :P sry yingx, i just HAD to quote that from the mafia. XDXDXD yep, so in plain words, it was really bad. i think my faculty, ares, was the major winner la, but i honestly couldn't care less man. and hc cheers SUCK. OMG THEY'RE DISGUSTING. i swear, once you've heard ac's, no where else matches up. those who played games, well, played, (DUH) and the rest of us, mainly the majority just slacked around. really. we did absolutely nothing. well, ok except getting our faces painted. big deal. so chaotic man. everything is so out of place. i hate hc.

we were finally let off at about 12+, and on my way out shimin spotted me and we talked. long talk ya know. she's officially one of the best people i know. she told me about the little bits of juicy news in hwachong, like who the supposedly hottest guy is, though he's really not that great looking. maybe cos i've seen darryl. :P:P:P he's not even tall!! but water polo guy, waddya expect? water polo is like THE ELITE cca in hwachong, where the guys are really cliquish and very popular. never thought guys will be cliquish. seesh. and they all shave their heads during the polo season, which is probably now since so many of them have shaved heads. weird. i wish i was in shimin's class. at least i'll have her with me. and their class has less people too. she takes lit, econs, math and history i think. hmm........you know, i really don't mind that combi, just change the history to geog, i just hate chi lit. yucks. so shimin was really nice and all; said she understood how i felt and she felt the same in nygh when she first went there too. can't believe it, when all the nyps ppl were with her. and she said she isn't 100% used to hwachong yet cos the people are really super competitive. oh boy, don't i already know that.........and she also said she feels so sad for me, cos she knows i was just going home to cry, and she knows that lonely feeling sucks cos she used to do it too. but she got through it, so can i. she really made my day. :)


i called ac like 3 times in school, and well, as expected, i didn't get to meet mrs chan. i finally mustered up the courage and told her secretary i wanted to see her about appeals, and of course i was shot down. the shithead secretary was like all "oh, mrs chan won't accept anymore; appeal period over; moe already closed; classes have already started" blah blah. i was so depressed after hearing all that, and i know sis will be all like it's expected. sigh. i really didn't feel like going back to ac after that, but i still did to hand in my letter and cca records to mrs chan. i know the chances are like, negative, but this is my last attempt already. i'm so tired. met sarah and sukhveen in ac. boy i missed them. i wish i could wear the ac uniform like them. saw boss too. ac uniform looks nice on everybody. i think i saw darryl too. omg i miss him soooooooo much!! and it hurts even more to know he's not even aware of my existance. oh well, maybe it's not the end yet? maybe we'll still meet several years down the road? but in the meantime, i'll miss him. didn't see as many people as i would like cos they're all in lectures. as i walked into the school, i admired the sports complex, the track, the big banner that says :" WE ARE AC! HEAR US ROAR!" omg...........i miss the sight of that. i miss walking through the school gates. i wanted to go to the canteen and void deck so much, just to relive it one last time, but i didn't cos i didn't want to get caught by the DM, and as sukhveen says AA: attract attention. i was wearing hwachong uniform you see. when i left, it was extra painful. i made sure i looked back and admired every single detail for the last time, cos i don't know when i'll get the chance again. oh yes, next year for fun-o-rama. but that's too bloody long. i guess this will be the biggest mistake of my life, not being an ACSian. yangx will understand. ACJC ROCKS!!!

i had the best dream of my life last night. omg it was fantastic. of course i won't say it here cos it's super embarrassing *blush blush* and yea, it's private!! but oh gosh it was so real and vivid!! i really didn't want to wake up. was so pissed when sis woke me up. dang it! so sad i can't remember it 100%, but i remember some of the more crucial parts! :P why why why did that dream have to end? oh gosh...............this kind of things only come once in a lifetime.

i wish yingxy was around for me to talk to. really. why are you all the way in freaking canada girl??!! i wish you were back so badly. it's been almost 4 months and i still find it hard to accept that you're gone dear. my emotions are so jumbled up right now. first hc, then yingx. wow, my life is officially a suckfest. i'm just trying to remember charmaine's words, that just be yourself, don't care about the popular girls, and try to make the best of the situation. i can't wait for sis to join me next year in hc. at least i know i've got someone close to me around, and we can go home together. sisters are the best. :) i can always count on my family. i mean, just this term more, (1st wk is almost up so 9 wks left) june hols, block test (sicko) term 3, term 4 blah blah........and it's dec hols again!! yay!! but term 3 and 4 seem extra long. i really can't wait for jc life to be over. can't wait can't wait can't wait.











-painful...................just so painful...............


at 9:05 PM

i am emotionally exhausted. i really am. at school, i hardly have any friends and all. in classes the tears well up in my eyes and i just have to resist the urge to run to the toilet and cry. if any teacher asks, i'll just say i'm yawning. at home, i can't tell mum and dad my problems. mum will scold me, she has already by the way. she's mad at me now. and all day in school i just want to run and cry and hide in her arms. looks like that's not gona happen. dad is away on a company trip, but talking to him is like talking to a brick wall anyway. yea, he may be a better listener than mum, but i guess he's pretty fed up with me too.

thank god for sis and lou, i'm still able to regain some sanity. sis has been really nice helping me with my chinese lit and stuff, and she actually bothers to listen and understand my problems. lou also called to check how i was, which is really nice. she knows how to say the right things, like she told me how she was a loner too at first when she went to nj; she was the only crescentian in her class and all, but she coped. well, she IS more loquacious than me, so maybe it's a teeny bit easier. my class is ok.........not too bad. they're very loud though, not like me. and they're so freaking smart, it's scary. sigh. i feel so stupid. i mean yea, they say hi and all, some random ppl i know from my pathetic og have been offering encouragements, ex-acjc people are also trying to urge me to make the best of the situation now. god bless them all. i think i gota take a leaf out of sis' book, and learn to enjoy my own company. sis can't care less whether she has friends or not. i think i better take a book around with me in my bag. i'll just bury myself in work, mug mug mug, study study study, and just go through day by day, one at a time. after all, it's only 2 years. minus all the hols, maybe one and a half. though i say i wanna go poly and all, i know it'll be a big change all over again. and it's 3 years, not 2. no thanks man. i want my freedom.

hc's founders day tmr. we're supposed to get our faces painted. oh my god. i don't mind face painting, but i wanna go back to ac tmr! i can't go back looking like a freak! i've tried to book an appointment with mrs chan today, TWICE no less, but all her secretaries have a stick up their asses. tmr i'll send in my last and final letter. if it doesn't succeed, i'll just accept my fate. no choice liao. try my very best to see her tmr. called my ex-form teacher from acjc, and she too is sooooo..................arghhhh!!! msged her and called her upteen times before she finally picks up. and she says she can't do anything to help me. yea maybe it's hard, but she won't try. gosh she makes me sick. knew i could never depend on her. then mum came along and scolded me that if my phone bill goes above $30 this month, she's terminating my phone. thanks mum. totally appreciate it. so folks, don't mind if i don't reply some of your messages sometimes.

i keep thinking about yingx, thinking of what she had to go through especially when she moved to a whole different COUNTRY, and not to mention school as well. but she's happy, or well, contented, and has made the best of it. she's got friends like will and stuff. i think of other ex-acjc people who like me, are in nj or somewhere else and are regretting it, and worse, those who are not good enough to go back and are now in another college. i keep telling myself i'm so lucky compared to so many people, and that many are dying to be in my place. so why don't i just relax and enjoy it? yea, easier said than done. but like dad says, i'm not the only one adjusting, others are adjusting to me too. but still, it's nice to have some company. someone you can hang out with. again, i've only been there 2 days and i can't be bossom buddies with everyone yet, whatsmore i don't even know which guys are in my class. LOL. it all takes time time time. but you know what? it's taking too bloody hell long.

just rmb PH, when you come out of this (dead or alive), you'll be a better and stronger person. and wiser. yes, i'll have to rmb this, and at the same time keep the tears in.












-adjusting is hard..............


at 4:07 PM

just finished clearing out my old crescent uniforms. i held my blouses to me and cried. finally, after so long, i'm really going to let go now. gosh.........so nostalgic. i've kept one set and my acjc uniform as remembrance. when i first disliked acjc, i would always think back to crescent. after i got used to ac, well, i didn't think of crescent much anymore. now i'm in hc, first official day of school tmr, *shudders* i know i'll keep comparing it to ac. and i know i'm gona hate it cos i'm gona think that it's not as fun as ac. i'll be thinking about mrs chan welcoming us back to school, all the powerpoints, seeing my friends again...........and being all alone in hc is rather sad. i'm not sure if i wanna go for the US trip anymore. hc uniform isn't that bad after all, i'll survive, but it still can't beat ac. sometimes i wonder what it would be like instead if i continued my jc education in ac. i know it'll be super fun. i know it will be. i think this would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. sigh. i've decided, next time if i have a son, i'll send him to ACS. all the way to acjc or acsib. lol. cos i know what it is like to be an ACSian. those people who haven't gone through it..........well, it's their loss. i've always been rather intrigued by how much the ACS boys love their school. now i understand. it's just like 1 big closeknit family. i can't describe it. of course now i'm in hc i'd have to make the most of it, but still.............if only i could turn back the clock.

school tmr. boy am i not looking forward to it. i'm totally dead for all my subjects. ok fine, i don't wanna talk about it. i'll feel even more sick.













-imagine life as a fork in the road. what happens if you choose the wrong route?


at 4:21 PM

oh my god............i'm getting more and more depressed as the days pass. sorry to all out there who have to listen to my whining. but i'm really really miserable. the prospect of going to hc is disgusting. even the uniform is gross!! i went to buy hc uniform today and the blouses were too big! looks like i gota go buy in school when the term starts. and i probably have to explain to the DM why i'm not in full hc uniform AND stick out like a sore thumb. why don't someone just kill me now?! the skirt is also revolting. it doesn't have an elastic waistband, just a.......you know.......just a plain band. omg it's so uncomfortable!! it doesn't stick to your waist so you know you skirt stays in place and all..........i'm am so thoroughly scarred for life. imagine i gota where that horrendous thing for 2 years!!! the horror!!!! i gave up ac's wondeful, beautiful, comfortable uniform for this shit?!! i really feel like crying. i'll do anything(except selling my soul to the devil) to go back to ac ok?! i'm getting sadder and sadder by the day.

met yihui for lunch at fish and co. today. seohying is in her class!! lucky dude. i don't have anyone i know. yihui ordered alot ok. you know how full fish and co. can make you? on top of that, she ordered baguette. wow. went to borders and bought sis the death note dvd and jesse's new cd. about time i got it man. borders were giving 20% off to students and teachers. so when yihui and i were paying, this guy came up behind us and asked us to help him buy his book, so that HE'LL get 20% off too. so cheapskate right?!! duno why we helped him man. and guess what book he bought? THE HOLY BIBLE. LOL!!!!! whoa lao, this is one of the biggest jokes man. so ironic!! i'm quite sure, though i'm not christian, that the bible doesn't teach you to be freaking cheapskate man!! this is something i'm gona remember and tell my kids. :P

i can't believe i'm not going back to ac. i can't accept it. i wish it was just a bad dream and everything will go away when i wake up. keep telling myself that many people are going to a new school and are gona experience the same thing as me too. but it doesn't help to make me more positive. oh gosh, it's so painful!! i'll miss darryl, abraxon, 1SC5, shane and henrik, chapel and devotions, all the crescent people, the hall, the powerpoints every morning, the nice aircon classrooms, canteen food, mr karmen chua, my ogls, magdalena!! and i don't even know her!! -_-'" can you imagine i'm even gona miss the PE?!! BOTH swim pe and mass pe. no, i'm not crazy. you just never realise what you have until it's gone.

here somes the tears..........


at 8:24 PM

ac didn't call. you know what this means folks? i'm stuck in hc. oh. my. fucking. god. can't believe my god damn luck. now i'm soooooooooooooooo dreading school on monday. one plus point: * isn't in hc anymore. transferred out. well, if i was in ac, i wouldn't have to bother whether * transferred out or not. i think the biggest regret of my life will be not going to acjc. really. i think of what i could have done in the school with the company of my friends and og mates, imagine i could have been an ogl next year!!! and ac's orientation is always a blast. sometimes i think the ogls enjoy more than we do. :P now all that is gone, it has all become 'what ifs' or 'maybes'. oh god i feel like crying..........i really do. you see how one stupid mistake can change your life forever? it's insane. i really wish we could have more 2nd chances. but then again, who doesn't? if only i wasn't so stupid and cherished my place in ac more. i guess my letter to mrs chan didn't move her as much as i hoped it would. but i'm not gona give up hope 100% yet. i'm still gona wait for a miracle, wait for her to call me or something. i mean, it's not everyday a student cries in front of you. so i'm putting off buying hc for as long as possible. oh god, just grant me this one small miracle..............and i'll never ask for another thing again........


at 3:36 PM

i am so fucking screwed. i guess i gota face the fact that ac's not gona call me back. if not they would have done it already right? oh my fucking god. i can just imagine my loser self walking around alone in the hc campus, not knowing what to do or where to go during recess blah blah. omg, the thought just brings tears to my eyes. i'm soooooooooo dreading monday. why why why did i ever choose hc?!!! WHY?!!! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY!!! if you dare say it's a better school, i swear i'll slap you. i'm so sick of people telling me that. well, i guess the only happy people in the world now are mum and dad. there. you got your wish. you can go tell all your friends that you're daughter is in hc. satisfied?!!! in the meantime, i'm the one attending the school and i'm the one who needs to suffer. thanks a lot man. what great wonderful parents you both are. mom was like all ready go buy my hc uniform today. i was like, "excuse me? when did i EVER say i'm willing to go to that fucking school?!" and she became hysterical and all and took my handphone away again. -_-'" yea.......can you imagine her at the uniform shop? she'll be all "hc uniform please!" omg......the thought of it just gives me the shudders man. if they think i'm gona choose hc over ac, they're out of their fucking minds.

i miss darryl..........i miss abraxon..........i miss acjc...............:(









-inconsolable........................


at 9:29 AM

mum is absolutely pissed at me cos i wanna appeal back to ac. and i'm pissed at her cos she wants me to stay in hci even if it kills me. so basically you have 2 females who are extremely pissed at each other living in the same house. what do you get? world war 3. no kidding. you DO NOT want to in the middle of a quarrel between me and my mum.

so mr chow from hwachong has come back to me with a better subject combi for me. i'm officially out of the arts stream!!! whooo!!! thank god. but i still want to go back to ac. cos at hc i have NO CHOICE but to do CHINESE LIT. cos i got into the school based on that, if not they'll kick me out. -_-"' and unless ac takes me back, i'm school-less. joy to the world. DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO CAN TAKE CHINESE LIT?!!! I'M TOTALLY WESTERNISED!!!!! i don't even know who that mao tze dong fellow is or what the hell he does!! and for my friends who know me well enough, can you IMAGINE me doing wuxia xiaoshuo? oh my god. i'm someone who never watches channel 8 but watches mtv, axn, starworld, starmovies, hbo and all those stuff. chinese lit leh, bloody hell.........

so basically i've decided that if ac takes me back, i'll go back. i'm fine going to school by myself. i find it quite fun actually. :P and my mum will like practically disown me. but whatever la. i can't suffer for 2 years just to make her happy. she'll come round sooner or later. basically she's just upset cos she can no longer tell people that she has BOTH daughters in hwachong. *rolls eyes* damn childish if you ask me. so basically mum and dad have made it clear that if i choose to go back to ac if they offer me a place, they gona have nothing to do with me. i gota go to and from school myself, wash and iron my uniforms blah blah. go for tuition myself. wait, i don't even know if they're gona give me any tuition. sigh. but regardless of all this, i know i'll still go back. they make it seem as though i'll definately get 4As in hc you know. it's ridiculous. they don't see that I'M the on attending school, NOT them. shouldn't i go to somewhere i like? oh god they're impossible. but i think it's kinda cool if the DM says:"i'm gona call/tell your parents." and i'll be like, be my guest man, they don't care about me anymore. oh well, the price you pay for fighting for what you want.

i miss my handphone. that's the only bad thing about this. and my atm card. sobs. i wish i NEVER applied for hc, so this shit will never have happened. just stay in ac and be contented little me. but NO. sorry yingx, but FUCK IT LA!!! the stupid things i do............









-what won't i give to turn back the clock..................


at 12:26 PM

again, i'm sorry yingx for my long absence. i'm cold warring with my mum right now and she took away my laptop, handphone and atm card (so childish right?) so yea, it's quite inconvenient to go online without my laptop. basically she's pissed at me because i chose to go back for ac's campfire instead of going for hwachong's orientation last friday. she just doesn't understand that everybody crashes ok. then she gives that lame excuse that i'm not 'everybody.' *rolls eyes* fine! maybe i AM everybody. take that! and anyone who gives up acjc's orientation for another school's is a dumb dodo bird. everybody knows ac has one of the best orientations around. or perhaps THE BEST. :)

so whatever it is, i will NEVER EVER regret my actions that day. it is one of the best days of my life, and i will not trade it for anything. even if mum wants to shout or scream or beat me, i'm not going to say sorry for that day. cos i'm NOT sorry. in fact, i had a BLAST!! ABRAXON ROCKS MY SOCKS!! if i'm going to recount whatever happened on friday, this post is gona be super long, so i better not. i did record down in my traditional diary and i wrote like 10 pages long. LOL. anyway, just in a nutshell for yingx's sake, i went back to acjc in the morning, BY THE BUS. mind you, i have never ever, for the past 17 years of my life, taken a bus to school in the morning myself. i felt so proud!! haha. well i had no choice cos mum refused to fetch me. whatver man. then i sat with my og for assembly and boy was i glad to be back!! XD the school song never sounded so good.

turns out kern came back to crash too. and clarence. i was calling kern CJ!(he was posted there) and he was calling me hwachong! haha. we did mass dance but hardly played any games cos we didn't want to get muddy or starchy. haha. my ogl julie was calling us wusses. :P then we went to julie's house for ogl time!! she lives in a 3 storey bunglow with a freaking swimming pool. she also has 2 labradors, one male one female, called hercules and xena respectively. XDXDXD so cute right? haha. her house was uber cool man. she has a foozeball table, tabletennis and pool table. i was trashing all the guys at foozeball. :P now how did i become so good? :P *winks* then jonathan joined us and we went to crystal jade at holland v to eat lamian. i found out kern's father is 70 years old. :P sukhveen couldn't believe it man!! haha. she thought he was joking.

went back to school for campfire and dance time!! FUN FUN!! but we were all worn out by the end. campfire was also my highlight cos i managed to catch my principal and talk to her about my appeal. so embarrassing ok. i was crying, all the teachers were staring and my og was watching from afar. shan't say anymore about this but mrs chan was super nice about it. i even gave her a hug at the end. i hugged my principal. wow. but she's really a fantastic person. god bless her man. then when i rejoined my og i was of course bombarded with questions. -_-"' ladeeedaa........seesh......

so i'm just so thankful for my og. i really am. it's like fated that we all have the chance to meet you know? we're not cliquish, we just get along so well. all of us, guys and girls. so sad sarah couldn't join us cos she hurt her leg. it's things like this that makes me feel so blessed that i know all these wonderful people. the big question now is: how can i bear to leave for hci after our reunion? i can't. i'll be so sad. acjc feels like home, it really does. homely feeling and all. hci feels so alien. i shudder to think if my appeal fails. i want to go back. i really do. i now understand what people mean by it's just the name of the school. i mean acjc does not have hci's prestige and reputation, but it feels like home, and i'm happy there. boy, i'll give anything, ANYTHING to turn back the clock, so that i won't be in this shit now.

so for as long as i live, i will never forget 9/3/2007. and of course i'll never forget abraxon. thanks guys for all the awesome memories. i love you all!!!! ABRAXON ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!!!! XDXDXD








-please let me back. i want to go back so badly. i'd do anything.................:(


at 7:28 PM

sorry yingx i didn't blog yesterday cos i was too depressed. i am, if possible, even worse now. i just finished my upteenth round of crying. sounds familiar? i'm the most stupid person on the face of this earth. i KNOW i have trouble adapting to places, and i still must be a smart aleck and choose somewhere new to go to and start all over again. wth!! i miss my og, i miss my class!! we may not be you know, in the same class anymore, but at least i know the place! i know the people! I CAN DO SCIENCE!!! I WANT TO GO BACK. I WANT TO GO BACK TO AC. ACJC ROCKS MY WORLD. oh gosh..........i feel the tears coming again. i know people think i'm crazy that i'm in the best school in singapore and i want to leave, but i'm already so attached. i should have just stuck to ac. just stay!! god damn it, i'd give ANYTHING to turn back the clock and change my choices. i feel like dying right now, i really do.

we learnt the hc dances and songs today. what else? they are NOTHING compared to AC ok. they have 2 bloody school songs. 1 of them is in freaking chinese!!! and the english one has lyrics sooooooooooo lame it's painful to read. the tune is REVOLTING. AC'S SCHOOL SONG IS THE BEST!! and they have all their college songs, all in CHINESE. ok yea, i know, china school, but this is overdoing it a little ok? oh gosh, i can feel my heart twisting with fear at the thought of staying ok. ACJC PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!! i'm so so sorry. i'm just so sorry. i'm soooo stupid. i can't apologise more. please let me back. if acjc accepts me back, i'll be jumping like a maniac and not look back at hc even once. not like kailing. she appeal back to nj, now she wants to reject. -_-"' she's crazy man.

ok, i'm now off to type a letter to mrs kelvyna chan. i'm so gona cry while typing it. i'm soooo tempted to pon orientation tmr!! go back to ac where i belong. i don't dare to think if i can't go back. i really really don't dare. i'm going to pray very very hard. please God, just help me one last time, and I will never forsake you again.












-somebody please.........save me...............:(


at 6:58 PM

hey. 2nd post for today. well hopefully in more detail cos i wasn't thinking very clearly in the morning. well, yea, i made it to hci. but the problem is i'm gona miss ac so so much. i think it's so ironic that all my good friends are going to ac when i leave. i mean, wth!!! i think heaven is playing a huge trick on me. to name a few: miaoqun, bernice, jared, jing yi. oh gosh. they may not be staying, but at least they're going to ac tmr! i wanna see them! oh gosh, i wanna do ac's mass dance. super fun can.

alot of people from my class have been posted out of ac. like 10, including me. so that's 13 of us left. and we signed a petition to stay as a class. LOL. for what i ask you. 1SC5 is almost gone la. they're gona be so little of us tmr. funny sia. i'm super scared about going to hci. really. the idea freaks me out. at least i got kailing. but still........oh shucks. i hope they don't hold us for too long, just register and let us go, cos i wanna go back to ac!! if they're gona talk i'm gona be super pissed. meeting shimin tmr so she can bring me in, cos that place is freaking huge. i think i'd need a map.

met sam and liphin at vivo today. they're happy cos they're all staying in their jcs. before we split we sat at starbucks and talked about the postings. it's really unexpected for some. this year's posting is just weird. i wonder how the ministry does it. i know someone got posted to innova. eeeeeks!! i'd just die if I go there. liphin told me hc's pe is very tough. they make us run 2.8km. are u fucking kidding me?!!! oh my tian, let me back to ac manz!!!!! ac's pe is really slack compared to other jcs. oh gosh, someone just shoot me right now. imagine if i appeal back to ac. they'll be flipping through all the appeals, all the 13, 14 pointers, and they see my 7 points and the school i'm posted too? hci. and i'm appealing to ac. they'll think i'm a psycho, then post me to woodbridge. :P

i won't be able to see darryl anymore. oh man........that makes me so sad. but also good la. but if going to hci rekindles my feelings for *, well, lets just say, it sucks big time. got my scholarship letter from moe. it says i gota maintain good grades in order for it to continue to jc 2. otherwise i gota pay $250 a month. oh shit. tell me, how am i ever gona get super grades in HCI??!!! HOW?!! it's full of einsteins!! i can't beat them! oh boy, talk about stress. beat this. well done ph, well done. what have you got yourself into?


i miss AC already. i miss Abraxon :(


at 9:42 AM

latest breaking news: I GOT INTO HWA CHONG INSTITUTION!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! omg omg omg i can't believe it!!!!!! haha this is sooooooo surreal!!! i'm going to my dream school!!! the whole thing started at about 7.55am this morning, where the very sleepy, tired me miraculously cracked open my eyes at that time, and went to switch on the com, and went back to sleep. :P then i woke up again at 8.25am thinking: oh shit, cos i had left the com on for like 1/2 an hr for nothing. yep. logged onto the website and prayed: "please god. don't send me to njc. please please please." then pressed the enter key and there, in big blue letters: HWA CHONG INSTITUTION (ARTS). i was like, HUH???!!!!! Totally shocked man. i was like wth, r u freaking kidding me?!! haha!!! WHOOO!!! YEA MANZ!!! ran to the room to find mum and told her the good news, and she was like, wow!! i was praying for you!! haha. yes. i'm a true believer in the buddha now. told sis and she was like, OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH WOW!! haha. i love my lil' sis. i'll be her senior next year!! LOL. dad is really happy too!! now, what about that LV bag??? :P:P:P jkjk.

i'm super emo right now. and SCARED. at hci i get to see you-know-who starting with the letter C. i'll be so shy around *. damn it la. and i have no friends! omg, suddenly that place doesn't seem so inviting. oh no...........what have i gotten myself into?!!! im such a stupid dodo bird. i miss AC's uniform!!! and the cheers!! and 2ND ORIENTATION!!!!! oh my f*cking shit. I WANT AC!!!!! i am the dumbest person alive. now i gota appeal to hci science stream. imagine if they don't let me. -_-" i wanna do medicine!! great. and new environment, new orientation, new friends............oh SHIT!!! okok, be happy ph. alot of ppl want to be in your position. it's your dream sch!! so appreciate it!!

gota report to new sch tmr. oh god.........march hols next week. got a lot of catching up to do. saying goodbye to old friends - and to AC. i'm gona miss that place. i gota buy a card for mr chua too. MR KARMEN CHUA IS THE BEST TEACHER WHO WALKS THE EARTH. HE ROCKS MY SOCKS. :P oh man, so gona miss him. never thought i'd say this but.....................I LOVE ACJC. and thank you to all my friends who have made my 2 months experience worthwhile. especially Abraxon. you guys rock my world. LOVE ALL OF U LOADS!!










-i love ACJC. will miss it forever and ever...............*sobs*..................


at 8:36 PM

tmr is THE DAY. jae results. oh gosh, i'm more nervous for this than my olevels man. tmr morning, 8am, i'll jump on the com immediately and check. i'll be shaking i tell you. please oh please, LET ME STAY IN AC!!!! i'll be jumping for joy and screaming like a maniac if i stay, and i'll never be happier to walk through those gates. i really, really can't imagine myself in nj's ugly grey uniform. let all the 6-9 pointers who will make the cutoff go in first!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! whatsmore, it is only my 3rd choice. adjusting to ac was already hell. if having to adjust to NJC is just as bad, i think i'll just die. i won't be able to stand my mum going all "i told you so". shit la. had chapel today, and i even prayed to God and asked him to please shower me with his love and if he could, please post me back to AC. and i'm not even christian people. yes, i was THAT desperate. other people leave AC cos their results are not good enough. i leave cos my results are too good. wth. this is damn lame la.

i think it's also ironic that my last day in AC is the day I talk to the guys in my class the most. well, not all, but i can go for days not talking to any guy at all. so you see the big improvement. i talked to 2!! especially 1 i really really don't talk to. haha. his name is Hygin, pronounced "hygeine". LOL. he said people used to tease him alot about his name for obvious reasons, but he is really a very nice guy. and he has HUGE hands. LOL! really. humongous. his palms are big la. :P and Ringo. yes, that's his name folks, means apple in japanese. met him on the bus on my way back to crescent. turns out he gets off at the crescent bustop!! such a coincidence. he lives just opposite crescent! hmm..........if only he was a girl. LOL!! :P then i said goodbye to him, like i did to everybody else, in case this is the last time i saw him. and i realised he had a really nice smile. well, actually i've always known, but i never saw it close up before. that's because he's always hanging with the guys you see. but oh well, i never thought i'd say this but i'll kinda miss my class. here i go again, never appreciating something until it's taken away from me. first i hated my class, now i feel sad to leave. well done ph, you're a genius. i'm gona miss qin yue alot. if i go to njc, i'll take her and yihui out to lunch one day.

lou is trying to calm and console me about going to njc. oh boy. I WANT AC'S 2ND ORIENTATION!!! i didn't even get to see my ogls one last time. sobs. i mean, nick is kinda cute. LOL!! in fact i think he's hot. :P whatever man. what's the point when i may not be around to enjoy it? qin yue was so sweet, saying that if they bring me to NJC she'll write the principal's name in the Death Note. haha. she makes my day, that girl. :) i'll miss Abraxon. they rock my socks.

so fingers crossed people. please please please let me stay..........










-I WANT AC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


at 7:53 PM

i'm so super pissed with diana tang. she's my sec 4 emath teacher. on friday i asked her to write a resume for me which i can use for appeals to jcs. i messaged her today and asked if i could get from her tmr, and she said she has duno what skin problem and she has not written it yet. what the fuck. i've given her enough notice, she has 3 days to write it, and she has not?! ok fine, yea i know, busy marking schoolwork, but how long do you take to write something? max 10 mins?! this is my FUTURE i'm talking about here. she said she couldn't write it cos she didn't know enough about my results. then can't she bloody ASK ME?!! actually she need not write anything about my grades, just talk about my character blah blah. and if she can't pass it to me in school, she can mail it to me right?!! whoa lao, she's damn stupid leh. can't stand it. and I don't think her face problem will affect her ability to write a letter. i mean, it's her face with the problem, not her hands. doesn't she know how important that letter is?! it's super competitive with the jcs now you know. oh god, i'm so pissed. at least ms seow is still reliable.

i'm super nervous about tuesday. please please please don't send me to njc. i want ac!! i want ac's 2nd orientation!!! NO NJC!!!!! sobs..........

i want my carbs so bad. SUSHI!!!! by the time my diet is over, i would have forgotton how rice and noodles taste like. damn it la.


at 12:21 PM

this diet is killing me. omg, i'm so hungry!! I WANT FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh gosh, i'm gona have a headache. NO ph, you must PERSEVERE!! omg omg omg. this is hell. it's only 2 or 3 months. you can do it. you can do it. just do it. impossible is nothing. nike and addidas can start paying me now.

let me tell you about my wonderful diet. i have to weigh every single thing i eat. yes. right down to the last gram. i can't eat pork, carbo, and only specified kinds of cheese. i can only eat natural, unsweetened yoghurt which is the most disgusting thing i've ever tasted. the only carbo i can eat is plain crackers, which i can only eat max 2 at a time at 2.5hr intervals. i can't even eat brocolli!!!! wth, i want my green little flower :( sobs.......luckily i can still have lettuce, or my life isn't worth living anymore. i can have coffee and tea but no milk and sugar. yingx, imagine earl grey tea with no milk or sugar. yep, so no milo, no ice cream, no sushi, NO SASHIMI!!!!!! omg, someone just kill me right now. i don't think i can step into another restaurant in singapore for the next 2-3 months or so. i've also got to bring some meals to school. in a nutshell, my diet is made a hell lot worse cos i'm living in singapore, cos it's a food paradise. joy oh joy.

alevel results released yesterday. and the tops were of course from rjc. whoa, huge shocker there. they had 10 perfect scores while hci only had 2. quite disappointing actually. duno what is up with hci lately. but nvm, HWA CHONG!!!!! LOL. acjc's top had 8 distinctions while njc had 9 i think. haha. i bet mum won't mind me going there now. she's such a fairweather acjc supporter. sigh. and apparently the cutoff to acjc has been lowered from 8 to 7. even if you have 7 points after deduction, you still may not be safe. this is good and bad news for me cos, if ac lowers the cutoff, so will nj. which means i may be able to stay in ac after all!! yay. but at the same time, it means i definately can't enter hci anymore cos the cutoff will be like 2 or 3. crazy la. i can't wait for tuesday! pls don't send me to njc, please don't..............

it just hit me yesterday that my friends have all moved on with their lives...................and so have I. i actually organised a mahjong party today and invited them over. most of them were busy and some didn't even bother to reply. so i had to cancel. i see that i have to accept the fact that they have new commitments now and times we had together in the past.........well, i'll just have to treasure those memories, and be thankful we were able to share those happy times. i now also think less about them, even though yea, i miss them, but i don't yearn for their company as much as i used to. i now think more of my og and other stuff. a bit nostalgic here but, the only thing that doesn't change, is change.












-whatever will come, will come. and we will have to face it when it does.................


at 5:57 PM

i remember why i was quite reluctant to start a blog cos though it is an online diary, there's no way i'll actually post my true feelings on it. the old traditional diary-under-my-pillow is still the best. :) but since yingx is away, is suppose i have no choice.......

acs founders day today. whoa lao, boring like hell. the jc 1s were all sitting at the back and falling alseep. it's pretty much like speech day. well, actually it is. juliana, my ogl, is so damn smart. she got a merit award, which means she had 3 distinctions for 3 H2 subjects for last year's promos and top for H2 bio. -_-"' wth. top for bio?!!!! what kind of brain does she have man??!! bio is killer!!!!! don't dare to think of her IQ.........:P

i'm going to start dieting. yes i am folks. went to see a professional and apparently it's very effective, so let's see how it is. if it works, you'll be seeing a whole new me when you come back yingxy!! haha. found a new math tuition centre too. jc tuition is damn expensive. wth. mum is gona scream at me if i don't come back with As. now if only kellie will give me an answer!!

asked ms tay yesterday, and she said that i won't be able to come back to ac if i get posted somewhere else. oh god............this sucks man. pls god, pls don't post me to njc. i've already been punished enough. i have to pay $10 extra ok??!! pls oh pls..........let all the 6 pointers and others who put njc first get in. i wanna stay in ac. went to coro with mum and njc, even hwachong uniform is gross man!!! omg, ac is still the best. can't believe i'm saying i wanna stay. really can't believe it.

haven't been seeing darryl around lately.....................