Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


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at 7:27 PM

im blogging everyday. and the only 2 reasons are either 1. you really have an interesting life that people deserve to know about. 2. you're bored with nothing better to do. yingx falls into the 1st category. im in the 2nd.

anyway, ive finally, FINALLY finished The Pact. and i have to say, it's one of my favourite books of all time. i wish i could watch the movie, but im sure it would be shallow compared to the book. and i must tell you, i loved it and hated it at the same time. it absolutely tore my heart to shreads. i was crying; and the inconvenient thing is i was in school, in full sight of everyone. so i had to like hide my face in my arms so people won't think:" why is this weirdo crying for no reason?" when i read the last page, my heart gave a painful wrench. yes people, it's that painful. even my friend, who is a guy, cried when he finished the book. and i think the questions this book poses to us is really true. can we ever really know our children? how far would you go for someone you love?

if you want to know what the book is about, go google it and read the blurb. right now, let me quote some of my favourite paragraphs of the book, especially the ones that really hit home.

1.
"Melanie glanced at the baby's translucent eyelids and slack bow mouth, and reluctantly transferred her to the plastic bassinet beside the bed. Emily barely took up a third of the space.

'Do you mind?' Gus asked softly, pointing to the bassinet and then to Chris, snoring softly in her arms. 'Go right ahead.' Melanie watched Gus lay her son beside Emily.

'Look at that,' Michael said. 'My daughter's an hour old and she's already sleeping with some guy.'

They all looked at the bassinet. The baby startled, a reflex. Her long fingers flailed open like a morning glory and curled back into fists, grabbing for purchase.And although she was completely unaware, when Emily Golf again settled into sleep, she was holding tight to Christopher Harte's hand."





2.
" 'Jesus,' he said, 'you're bleeding.'

'i know. i cut myself.'

'on what?'

Emily shook her head. 'it's nothing.' she said. but she let chris lead her into the kitchen and sit her down while he retrieved a bandaid. if he noticed that his own initials were on her arm, he was wise enough to kee silent. she closed her eyes while he touched her with all the acre in the world, and she started to heal."






3.
"Now. Now.

He was crying so hard at this point that when he looked at Emily from the corner of his eye, her face wavered, and he believed he had already begun to forget her. But then he blinked and she was beautiful, calm and waiting, her mouth opened like it sometimes did when she fell asleep. she opened her eyes and all he could see was her conviction.

'Oh, I love you,' he said, at least he thought he did, but Emily heard him anyway. She brought up her right hand, and settled over his, her fingers curving over his own to urge him on.
She pressed his hand, and it squeezed on the trigger, and then he was deaf and dizzy and falling, with Emily still in his arms."






ok, theres loads, loads more, but i cant possibly type all cos it's too long. all in all, it has affected the way i look at love, and life and children. especially whe emily, a talented artist drew a picture of a skull with clouds in the eyes and a long red tongue. it was titled self-portrait. i love it when authors use this kind of thing to show you some deeper meaning, for you to draw parallels, something that hits you like BAM! which words can never do as well. im deviating. im a romantic. i have a very idealistic opinion of love, how i want my guy to be, where i want a relationship to go. and i felt i could really connect with the story cos Chris really sounded like my dream guy. handsome, smart, athletic........yet Emily probably wanted more, but how much more, she wasnt clear herself either. yet, the stress of it, plus her teenage pregnancy, drove her to suicide. though she knew that chris would marry her right away, or at least go with her to the abortion, she still never told chris. even on her dying day.

of course, thank god it's just a story. or if it's inspired by a true story, im glad i don't know those people. yet, im envious and jealous of the relationship between chris and emily; cos i know i'll never get the chance cos my childhood is nearly over. and my children in the future? will they ever go through something like this? what if they're in trouble and they don't ask for help, and end up being suicidal?

one question at the back of the book is "Chris and Emily grew up with love, wealth, with each other. what more could they have needed?" this question stumped me. i guess it's easier with Emily. maybe more space? but it still seems like an inadequate answer. chris? i don't know.......anyone who has read this book? opinions??

gosh this is like my longest post ever. both in length and time spent on it. :P