Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 11:36 PM

don't know why, but i'm feeling damn emo right now. and when i get into these "i'm-sad-but-not-the-depressed-kind-i-just-want-to-be-philosophical" kind of moods, i would think of yingxy. i would think of how the 4 of us grew up together so closely, how we know each other so well, but somehow, this feeling is fading. yingx is so far away, i love yangx to death but we're not as close as before cos he's a boy and we're all growing up, then i start wondering, why why why on earth must all good, wonderful things come to an end, and why change ever takes place if it's for the worst. i seriously don't think yingxy moving is a good thing. call me childish, but i'm just so sad. i feel so sad and empty that villa verde is gone, yingxy isn't on our sunny little island, abraxon has broke up, 4C3 has moved on too..........everything is changing. i don't know why this change is so much harder than the rest. i don't think i really complained or kicked or screamed when i went to crescent. cos maybe now i'm older and i'm more aware of the change. but it doesn't make it easier to accept.

i miss yingxy so so much. the adults are playing mahjong now, and at this time, yingxy and i would probably be talking about anything under the sun. sis and yangx would be doing their stuff...........and i knew this would happen sooner or later but i feel we're drifting apart. yingx, i'm sure you miss me as much as i miss you.......but i'm just emo-ing right now. even IF you do come back in july, what's the point? you'll be flying off again and i'd go through another round of crying cos i know it would be ages before i see you again. and it just HURTS SO BAD that there will never be the 4 of us gathering again, week after week, unless a miracle happens and uncle koon meng moves back, but at the same time he'll be very sad if that happens and i don't want my dearest uncle to be sad.

i wish we didn't have to grow up. i wish yingx didn't have to move. i wish our biggest worries would be deciding at whose house to play mahjong at each week. why do all these things have to change? it was so perfect then.

i feel like crying.