Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 9:05 PM

i am emotionally exhausted. i really am. at school, i hardly have any friends and all. in classes the tears well up in my eyes and i just have to resist the urge to run to the toilet and cry. if any teacher asks, i'll just say i'm yawning. at home, i can't tell mum and dad my problems. mum will scold me, she has already by the way. she's mad at me now. and all day in school i just want to run and cry and hide in her arms. looks like that's not gona happen. dad is away on a company trip, but talking to him is like talking to a brick wall anyway. yea, he may be a better listener than mum, but i guess he's pretty fed up with me too.

thank god for sis and lou, i'm still able to regain some sanity. sis has been really nice helping me with my chinese lit and stuff, and she actually bothers to listen and understand my problems. lou also called to check how i was, which is really nice. she knows how to say the right things, like she told me how she was a loner too at first when she went to nj; she was the only crescentian in her class and all, but she coped. well, she IS more loquacious than me, so maybe it's a teeny bit easier. my class is ok.........not too bad. they're very loud though, not like me. and they're so freaking smart, it's scary. sigh. i feel so stupid. i mean yea, they say hi and all, some random ppl i know from my pathetic og have been offering encouragements, ex-acjc people are also trying to urge me to make the best of the situation now. god bless them all. i think i gota take a leaf out of sis' book, and learn to enjoy my own company. sis can't care less whether she has friends or not. i think i better take a book around with me in my bag. i'll just bury myself in work, mug mug mug, study study study, and just go through day by day, one at a time. after all, it's only 2 years. minus all the hols, maybe one and a half. though i say i wanna go poly and all, i know it'll be a big change all over again. and it's 3 years, not 2. no thanks man. i want my freedom.

hc's founders day tmr. we're supposed to get our faces painted. oh my god. i don't mind face painting, but i wanna go back to ac tmr! i can't go back looking like a freak! i've tried to book an appointment with mrs chan today, TWICE no less, but all her secretaries have a stick up their asses. tmr i'll send in my last and final letter. if it doesn't succeed, i'll just accept my fate. no choice liao. try my very best to see her tmr. called my ex-form teacher from acjc, and she too is sooooo..................arghhhh!!! msged her and called her upteen times before she finally picks up. and she says she can't do anything to help me. yea maybe it's hard, but she won't try. gosh she makes me sick. knew i could never depend on her. then mum came along and scolded me that if my phone bill goes above $30 this month, she's terminating my phone. thanks mum. totally appreciate it. so folks, don't mind if i don't reply some of your messages sometimes.

i keep thinking about yingx, thinking of what she had to go through especially when she moved to a whole different COUNTRY, and not to mention school as well. but she's happy, or well, contented, and has made the best of it. she's got friends like will and stuff. i think of other ex-acjc people who like me, are in nj or somewhere else and are regretting it, and worse, those who are not good enough to go back and are now in another college. i keep telling myself i'm so lucky compared to so many people, and that many are dying to be in my place. so why don't i just relax and enjoy it? yea, easier said than done. but like dad says, i'm not the only one adjusting, others are adjusting to me too. but still, it's nice to have some company. someone you can hang out with. again, i've only been there 2 days and i can't be bossom buddies with everyone yet, whatsmore i don't even know which guys are in my class. LOL. it all takes time time time. but you know what? it's taking too bloody hell long.

just rmb PH, when you come out of this (dead or alive), you'll be a better and stronger person. and wiser. yes, i'll have to rmb this, and at the same time keep the tears in.












-adjusting is hard..............