Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 8:34 PM

i actually wanted to come home today and spout all the f words here. i think it's so ironic that people say "happy birthday" when today is one of the worst days of my life. ok yes folks, i'm 17 today. i'm sure in ac i'll be super happy, celebrating with og and classmates, but in hc, it's just another day. in fact, it's my worst day in the week so far. started off with all my wonderful friends and their birthday messages, then it just went downhill from there.

had no one to hang out with the whole day. during pe, i had to wait for everyone to pick a group before i had one. but hc pe is super slack. it's the only slack thing we have. cos academics is the killer. guess what we did, we ran 2 rounds for warm up. 2 rounds around the NETBALL COURT. LOL!! do you have any idea how small the freaking netball court is? whoa lao funny sia, but i'm not complaining!! :P then we did ball passes like those you do in pri sch and a lame game of netball. i felt weird cos i'm used to ac's ultra strict pe lessons. take attendance and all. now in hc, my pe teacher is NICE. doesn't shout at all. no physicals yet. that's the only plus point about hc.

sigh. so i'm officially the loner of my class. everyone has someone to hang out with. i honestly don't think my class are very helpful people. i mean, yea, they tell me stuff about the school and all, but as a whole..................they're not exactly warm. sigh. the world needs more ISFJs. felt so lost in all my lectures, and after maths lecture i went to see the math lecturer, who is also a counsellor. meeting her tmr for counselling. yes people, i'm going for counselling. never thought i would ever need to though. i always thought people who need counselling are weak and don't know how to manage their emotions. now i finally understand their pain. it really is painful you know. feels like your world is gona explode and you can't bring yourself to smile. i cry all the time in school, and i gota fight to keep tears from spilling over. i'm NOT crying in front of boys. turns out i gota take the olevel higher chinese exam. oh my god. for that fucking chinese lit. oh god it's crazy!! insane man, insane. FUCK CHINESE LIT LA. FUCK FUCK FUCK IT. don't care already. if god wants to give me a sucky day like this, i'm obliged to use the f word. my chi lit teacher told me and i was like black face and all, and he went, you don't look very happy. -_-"' dude, i've gota take a chinese exam. do you think i look happy?!!! siao man. chinese exam on top of all my personal troubles. wonderful. what a fab birthday present.

the last straw was when my period came during project work and i wasn't wearing a pad. oh god. i should have known. the cramps were so obvious. i was bleeding so much that the blood was dripping down my thigh onto my chair. AND THERE WERE BOYS BEHIND ME GOD DAMN IT!!! and it was when lesson ended and we had to STAND to thank the teacher. but thank god, hc uniform is water and fire proof, so the blood wasn't absorbed. just a tiny stain. so i made sure i ran out after school and cabbed home as fast as i could. wasted $4. damn it. if not for my stupid period, i'll only spend 45 cents. it's amazing how bad a day can become. i'm still rather shocked.

mum forgot my birthday. oh well, i'm not going to remind her if she forgets. i've got pride man. she only remembered when lou sent me flowers!!! omg my lou lou totally made my day. she surprised me by coming to my house at night and passing me flowers!!! roses!! i love you loulou. the best birthday present ever.

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me...........happy birthday to me.











-dying inside...........with no where to run and hide.