Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


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at 11:54 AM

ever felt that a part of you has been taken away and it will never return? can you imagine the pain? well, my feeling is a hundred, thousand, million, trillion times worse.

yingx is gone.

yes. gone. I just saw her off at the airport at 4 something in the morning. she's gona take a 23hr flight to her new life in canada and the next time I see her will be in 2008 when she comes back for CNY. what's the big deal, you may ask. she's coming back anyway. well dude, I've known yingx, my wonderful cousin for like, my whole life, the long 16 yrs i have been alive. we were like superglue since we were in diapers. no kidding. we've got several photo albums to prove it, and a video. omg, I'm so sad that I can't even cry. no wait, here comes the tears.

so we were all gathered at the airport with some of her friends, which is not exactly the point anyway. sis and I just sat around and joked with darren and yangx, while yingx chatted with her friends. i don't blame her, I mean they've got to be some really swell friends, to see her off at like 2+ in the morning. they were at the airport even before us! and yangx was complaining cos the immigration officer told him off for being impatient. he went "nick, you need to be more patient with your mum." hilarious! i don't think yangx has been told off like that before. anyway, back to the topic.

as usual, time flew by before I could even blink. it was time for them to go in. yingx hugged sis and I twice, and for that I'm grateful. and we had several group hugs, the 4 of us, the last we will have in a long time. unfortunately yingx won't be back to get her results next year. she'll only return in 2008 for CNY. which is a killer wait, cos I'v seen her practically EVERY SATURDAY for the last 16 years of my life. I think if i were shot, it would not hurt as much as the pain eating at me now. I'm feeling so down right now, I can't describe it.

oh man, I keep repeating the same thing!! daddy called to ask how i was, and gave a few words of wisdom: that when we grow up, everyone will go their seperate ways and we all have to walk our own paths. next time will be my turn, when i get married and have kids, and everyone will have their own lives to lead. thx daddy, but it doesn't make the truth easier to accept. plus this song I'm listening to right now, it just sets the mood for a crying-marathon.

i feel so alone right now.